04 December 2008

"Molzie, 'ol pal, alls I kin say is, if it ain't good enuff fur People, it fur dang shure ain't good enuff fur us!"

The little Beggar (yes, with a capital 'B'), the wee fake!!

Now tap water is not good enough for him, and he dares bring me into the argument!


The latest Gonzo affectation began two weeks ago. People is verrrrrry careful to ensure our food and water bowls are full before she leaves for her Hunting Place

(Where, dare I say it, she has managed to retain her place, gain a slight promotion and raise, and best of all, regain her enthusiasim. Yippee, a bit more green papers so that she can bring me, er, us, prezzies!)

And she is also very attentive to our plaintive mewlings as she fumbles with the jingly-janglys to unlatch the door; she comes straight in and fills our bowls before she does anything more than put down her Hunting Bag. (She calls it a purse. Whatever.)

She is thick, but not so dim she missed the dry water dish.

Hmph! Dry because Brat, er, Gonzo had been tipping it over...

"HEY! I was gonna drink that!!"

Not to mention I DO NOT LIKE WET PAWS that I have not chosen for myself. Water is fun when I, Mozart want it. Otherwise, I, Mozart, DO NOT LIKE WET PAWS!!

"Get over it, hit the leaking tap. People drinks water outta the special water bowl, the strangely shaped one that has a top so I can't get in it even when I tip it over. It must be very special, because she trades green papers for it. So, we should have it too."

"People drinks bottled water because the pipes out here are old and made of lead which is bad and can make People very sick, and...ya know Gonzie, I think you're onto something. But must you tip out the water bowl?? My paws get all wet. Besides, do you think she will figure it out BEFORE I DIE OF THIRST??"

People really can be a bit thick sometimes.


I am not sure which of us is the more smug. I because I knew the 'strangely shaped water bowl with a cap' is a bloody bottle. Or Brat, er, Gonzo, who now thinks he is a genius because People only needed three Mozart & Gonzo water bowl tip-outs to figure out Gonzo wants bottled water.

To be honest, she only really got it because Gonzo caught on that he should splash it out in front of her if he really wanted to get her attention-she'd been thinking one of us had kitty diabetes and she was planning a trip to the V.E.T.-YIKESSS!

The third time worked, he tipped out the bowl in front of her horrified eyes just after she'd refilled it from the kitchen tap.

"Bloody HELL Gonzo! What are you...NO! STOP! GONZO! Dammit. What do you want, bloody bottled water?" And she poured us a bowl full straight from her bottle.

Which Gonzo immediately drank with obvious appreciation; I joined in with equal gusto-drinking as though I'd just come in from the Sahara.

Which caused People to laugh and say, "Oh alright, I guess if it isn't right for me to drink out of these taps, you two shouldn't be drinking from the taps either."

OK, so now we are enjoying much nicer water. Much nicer. Frankly, dear readers, the tap water here smells like the extra stuff People puts in the washing machine with the towels (she calls it bleach, we call it bleacck!) and some other wrong kinda smells I can't identify.

And LOL, no, ROFLOL, think that just a year and a half ago I didn't know what the water bowl was! I can dimly recall my sense of wonder that People had a special bowl of water for me-no more drinking from mud puddles and worse. Ah, how far one comes, when one is loved!

She had a thing on the kitchen tap called a filter, but the water still tasted funny, so I guess the Brat, er, Gonzo, has a good reason for his smugness-I, Mozart would likely never have thought of it on my own. But we are after all her entire reason for breathing, and therefore deserve the best of the best.

Enough about the Brat. Much more about I, Mozart, who can communicate realities to People with more subtle and graceful means. For Example:

People likes to give Kitty Flying Lessons if I try to remind her of the Important Realities (empty bowl, nasty litter box, my lack of new toys and total attention...), particularly if it happens to be the wee hours of the morning.

I, Mozart, at nearly 13 lovely (and all muscle, too) pounds, do not like Kitty Flying Lessons. Additionally and most importantly, I am wounded to the core when she refuses my reminders.

So thrice I have slipped past her as she comes in from The Hunting Place and punished her by being 'away' for hours.

How truly lovely it was to hear her plaintive calls into the cold and misty nights as I huddled under the porch in true sacrifice to teach her a lesson.

Well, the third time I did let her catch me right away because I slipped out into sleet-AAAAACK!

And the third time she got it-"Oh Mozart, you know, I think you try to run away when I've been cross with you waking me up two hours before the alarm!"

No, ya think? Sheez.

To be sure, I tested her, and sure enough, even groggy with sleep People got it-"Oh Moat, you poor thing, is your bowl empty?" But dang it, she just gave me a hug and tried to get me to lie down as she scratched behind my ears until I gave up and jumped down. At least the Kitty Flying Lessons have stopped. If Bast meant for us to fly we would be birds. Ohhh, fluttery things:)

But the minute the alarm when off, I was right back in her face...and she thanked me! Big hug, nice scritchings, then, ahhhhhhhhhhh, a nice fresh full bowl of the nicest organic kibble and reverse osmosis bottled water.


OK, one last thing, our little Gonzo (who really is small, six pounds, tops) is now 13 months old. His one year First In Day is swift approaching, too, the 19th of December.

Nubis was really looking out for both of us, me and Gonzo. Bast should be very proud of her appointed Guardian of the abandoned, homeless, and orphaned. I love my little fur Brat, er, Gonzo, and am glad he is here. As I truly believe Nubis led me to People, so I, Mozart, believe he led our little Gonzo to People and me.



Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Ah Mozart, it's so grand to be loved so much...hey, wait, we whined about da water and mom got a filter fur da tap and a fountain wif a filter in it. No bottled or reverse anything water. Hmf, I think we got jipped. Oh well, at least da water tastes good now. Concatulations to yoor people on getting a little promotion and extra green papers.

Angus Mhor said...

My Dear Mozart,

Flying Kitty Lessons notwithstanding, I think it's well within your rights, indeed, your DUTY, to firmly remind your People that food and water, in copious amounts and when desired, is NOT a privilege of the IN but a RIGHT! Hence, your People should not consider a pre-alarm food/water request optional. In point of fact, your People should ANTICIPATE such needs and make haste, even that unseemly, to fulfill all such requirements and find her rest in between those rare moments when you require nothing. Which, being a CAT, are very rare.

I'm just sayin'.

PS-Thanks for stoppin' by!

THE ZOO said...

thats so grate that yur beans doinokay at werk.

its nise that she figured owt abowt tha water and has spoilt yall now.

Blade spills tha kitty water here too so they has ta stay ryte nextta tha sinks except tha pups bowl, thay threatened him wiff a byte ifin he spilt thayr water. owr waters fine just he lyks ta play splashy.

yall truly spownd luf spoilt in that tha bean drops eferyfing ta mke shure yur waters full. sownds lyk she must really lyf yall.

Victor Tabbycat said...

Hee hee! What you needs is a fountain. Bonnie insisted on runnin tap water until Mom gotted the fountain. Also, Mom puts tap water into a speshul filtered bottle in da cold box an den fills our fountain frum that. So we get cold, filtered water that keeps moofin to stay fresh!
Life. Is. Good.
Sounds like you picked one of the trainable beans! Der da bestest.

Camie's Kitties said...

First, congratulations to People on her promotion.

We are glad you are getting bottled water now. We have our own filtered pitcher for our water and it tastes good. We also have a fountain that we don't have to share with our woofie.

We don't think flying lessons sound very fun. We are glad you stopped taking them.

Happy gotcha day to Gonzo.

Tavi, Cody, Camie and Miss Jade